WEDDING WISDOM: TIM & LARRY

Larry and Tim

“We met in a totally uninteresting way: online,” Tim said of how he met Larry. “And, our first date, at a cocktail bar in our neighborhood, was most memorable because Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick’s dog got lose and made its way under our table.”

But, for this New York couple, the “unremarkable” start to their relationship, turned into an everlasting relationship only three dates in, five years ago. “It is a little cheesy, but we were both instantly in love and both very serious,” Tim said laughing. And, from that point forward it was like they were already married.

So, if you’re married from the word go, how do you get engaged? By actually planning the wedding. “Larry’s sisters were both married a year before our ‘engagement’ and we pretty much had ironed out all the terms of what our wedding would be,” Tim said. “One weekend we went to another wedding and when we came back Larry said: ‘let’s start putting together a guest list!’ So, we decided to send people an email saying we were planning our wedding and to take it as an engagement. And, that was that!”

Tim & Larry's engagement email.

Tim and Larry’s wedding - perfectly planned by Men's Vows' friend and colleague, Jason Mitchell Kahn - was a year ago at a vineyard on the North Fork of Long Island with 180 people attending. Tim’s writing partner served as officiant. “It was really touching and also funny -- he quoted the Real Housewives, which Larry really loves. We wrote our own vows. And, my friend Grace McLean sang us down the aisle at the end of our ceremony singing “Don’t Rain on my Parade,” which is as gay as it gets!”

As for the reception, “we had a preposterously amazing band. And, a friend of mine choreographed our dance – a salsa or a cha-cha – and Larry, the lawyer, was much better at it than I was!”

“It was the best day of my life,” Tim said of the wedding. But, despite Tim leveraging all of his theater directing and event planning chops to execute a flawless ceremony and reception, matters were touch-and-go leading up to the big day. “On our weekend a hurricane was meant to hit the Hamptons on a weekend when it never rains, but I called upon several mysticisms and the storm stalled and never hit. We had miraculous weather. I think the weather was the most memorable part of the day!”

For Tim, little of the wedding planning was surprising. “But, I have a lot of warnings!” One of them being to take your time with the save the date and not get ahead of yourself sending them too soon. As Tim explained, "some people you feel you may need to invite in the heat of the moment but down the road when it comes to widdling down the list, you need to make cuts that you've backed yourself into a corner with overextending invites."

Tim goes on to recommend, “trust the professionals. They know what they are doing and you should just let them do it.” Ultimately, “it really is the planning of the wedding that really bonds you, because it is such a huge thing to take on. Everything else is going to be easy!”

One year in to their marriage, Tim shares that there’s nothing new to their relationship, in the best possible sense of a couple that has long ben bonded together. But, after a near-death experience for Tim, “we really enacted the ‘in sickness and in health” clause! We are celebrating our anniversary in a week, and we have really used the entirety of our vows!”

So, how are these two celebrating their first anniversary: “We are going to a wedding!!”

Photos: Laura Marie Duncan